Scud Stud (residual_lines) wrote,
Scud Stud

"I told you months ago to get a job..."

"I don't know what you are afraid of..."

Thanks mom. Thanks. This, on the day that I cleaned the kitchen, did some dishes, and started cleaning up her tomato garden. I feel like it doesn't matter if I do the nice things anymore. It doesn't matter that I keep my shit in my room now. That I try to take good care of our dying dog. It doesn't matter if I try and cook or do whatever laundry is around the house. You think your boyfriend was the one doing dishes, laundry, or sweeping? It doesn't matter that I clean up whatever she asks me to... I am just a lazy fuck up.

And here is why!

In October things at the Millstream started slowing started to get a little tight. It was alright, because I paid my cell phone bill through Dec, and dipped into what little savings I had. In the mean time, I was looking for jobs...

From Sept-Dec. I applied for the following:
Working in Bolivia on Water rights (I lost my contact...nothing about the work seemed clear enough to continue down the path my other contact didn't seemed organized enough to make it happen)
Environment America (....not the place for me)
Analyst Position: Investment Implications of Water Scarcity (world resources institute)
American Water (compliance)
Fisheries Policy (NOAA)

Sent letter of inquiries to the following:
Monsanto Public Affairs Internship (only for current students)
MDC and DNR (they are in the process of terminating 10% of their workforce)
Carnahan Campaign
International Action Network internship

Ok, so nothing panned out. That blows, time to pick up the pace. I understand that.
In January my mom told me to become a substitute teacher. Ok, I respect that, she has been taking great care of me for more than 24 years--if she wants me to sub, I will do it. She even loaned me the $50 to get finger printed. By end of January, I had gotten my finger printing done and filled out all the paperwork. It took till mid-Feb for the sub finder to have an appointment open for me. While there she told me I needed official transcripts before I could sub. Ok, I got those around Feb 19th after doing the paperwork. Oh shit, then a Foreign Service Exam comes along (in addition to all the other things I have been working on)
Now, I should have gotten my transcripts in sooner. But that doesn't mean that I have not been working my fucking ass off to get a job...and it bums me out when I know that my mom thinks I am a lazy fuck.

Here is a list of everything I have applied for in 2010 (that is two months and a week).
Boeing Trade Control Specialist 1/2
Dept. of Energy Entry Public Affairs
Foreign Service Officer
Substitute Teacher
GRNSS Outdoor education
DIA Entry Analyst
Boeing Trade Control Specialist 3
USDA Position: International Trade Specialist, GS-1140-9/12

In nine weeks, I have applied for eight positions. One of those positions, I had to study for the test. The other ones, I had massive application packets which included several complete re-writes of my resume, several essays, and multiple contacts for references. Lets also mention the time to find positions to apply for, and I also wrote two science Olympiad events, and judged one of them. Volunteered ~3 hours a week of my time for Centro Latino, worked a shift or two a week at Millstream.

Throughout most of this year, she has been really rad...but in the back of her mind I am just lazy. I am sorry that unemployment is 10%, and in 1978 that it was HALF that (down to 4.2% at some points that year). These aren't the days of sending out a resume and a cover letter, these are the days of computer scanned resumes, multiple forms, and essays. These are the days that more qualified people than I don't have work.

All things considered, I am amazed that I am not more discouraged. I have only had an interview (phone) for one of those positions. ONE. That was in November. You think that if I get 3 applications out a week that they would increase in quality? That I would get more interviews? I don't.
I need to be meticulous. I need to go through three drafts of everything...this is a job application. I am sorry, but I am doing the best I know how to do.
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